life is good

though it is simple, this video reminds me of how awesome life can be...

spring break?

i woke up this morning and saw about three inches of snow on the ground. oh well, at least it is sunny out.

love actually

the topic of love has come up a lot in the past couple of weeks. i love the idea of love. i think what people think of as love is the idea of passionate and romantic love. a love where from across a room you catch each other's eyes and in an instant you know, right?
in reality, this love is rare and, in my opinion, isn't really love. the idea of romantic love is sold to us. love is not love, but is a consumer good. when we buy this love, we expect it to happen in our lives. when our investment falls short, we don't blame the product, we blame ourselves. don't get me wrong, i am aware that i consume love in copious amounts. my favorite love investment is "Pride and Prejudice". i watch this movie (the BBC series) constantly. i watch the characters and listen to the language and feel all a twitter with love. after the movie is over and i put the dvd back into the box and place it on the shelf, i feel empty. why?
i have a great partner who loves me on such a more important level. i have a good job, which is amazing and life changing. i have friends who work together in order to support each other. we build community through thought, art, food, and even financial support. this is love.
love is making someone a meal who is feeling desperate. love is dedicating yourself to social justice instead of taking a job that offers more financial security. love is doing the right thing and not looking for something in return.
love can also be romantic, but romance isn't something that can be sustained for long, because romance isn't nurturing or kind, romance is performance.
we feel bad when we don't have consumer love. it is designed that way. if we felt the love that was being sold, then the market would dry up. we wouldn't need to buy romantic love if we could create it ourselves.
so here is a poem to love...

Like you (Como tu)
~Roque Dalton

Like you I
love love, life, the sweet smell
of things, the sky-blue
landscape of January days.

And my blood boils up
and I laugh through eyes
that have known the buds of tears.
I believe the world is beautiful
and that poetry, like bread, is for everyone.

And that my veins don’t end in me
but in the unanimous blood
of those who struggle for life,
love,
little things,
landscape and bread,
the poetry of everyone.

a bullet from a small gun is better than a bullet from a large gun

at this very moment my partner and i are discussing oil, the kind you eat.
i just finished having a late breakfast with a boy (space) friend. we both had homefries. this lead my partner and i to have a conversation about the roasted potatoes we make and the unhealthy amounts of olive oil we use when we make them. i said that olive oil isn't that bad for you. robert replied "compared to beef fat, no it isn't. and a bullet from a small gun hurts less than a bullet from a large one."

radical

so, isn't funny that one doesn't have to do much in order to be considered radical. think about it...100 years ago there was a group of women who outraged people because they had a suffrage parade. these women had the nerve to walk together down the street, hold banners, and sit on floats. the desire for the right to vote was such a radical idea that it almost didn't happen...
so, here is to the radical ideas of today, may they be totally rational tomorrow. Is this really, actually, truly, honestly, seriously that radical:
universal health care
free education
paid parental leave
the right to make choices about your own reproductive health
having a relationship with the consenting adult of your choice

doin' it

The number one thing on my list to do is done and the rest will soon follow. The worst part about grad school is thinking about all of the things you need to do that you haven't done. I'm going to stop doing that. Instead I'm going to just do things that need doing and eventually they'll get done.

crap to do

okay, my pity party is over. i had an overwhelming sense of despair coupled with feeling isolated. i'm better now. in order to not feel so bad, i'm going to make a list of things i need to do in order to get my shit done.
Crap to do:
1. finish my final project for the class i'm taking (due friday)
2. rewrite my theories section of my thesis
3. rewrite/write a good lit review
4. make sure my IRB is done by sunday
5. write my exam (for thursday)
6. clean my apt (do wednesday)
7. get together with co-teacher and get the syllabus done
8. pack for my thursday flight (not tomorrow, next thursday).
9. laundry,
10. grocery shop for the next 8 days. i came home last night and realized that i only had a frozen block of tofu, an onion, bread, and some veggies that were past their prime... what did i eat? i had two pieces of toast and two glasses of wine and got to work.