throwing baby in my face

so, i just joined facebook. it is kind of like a three part reunion for me. i have friends from here, friends from oregon, and people i knew from high school. i have noticed that most of the people from the high school group have kids or are married, or both. i still think that i'm too young for that stuff.
on sunday night, my mother and i were on the phone and she had this funny tone about her. she asked me "is there any news you have? is there something you want to tell me?" i asked her to be more specific. then she said "like a baby. are you pregnant?"
first: WHY THE FUCK WOULD I LET MYSELF GET PREGNANT RIGHT NOW! which is what i kept to myself. do i want kids, um...yes and no. now? no. i just moved back home, i'm trying to establish something career wise, and now i'm getting baby thrown in my face.
second: what prompted her to ask this?
why isn't my mother asking my brother, who is 10 years my senior, if he is going to have a baby? why is it that as soon as i turned 28, i start getting the baby pressure?
i am still in awe of the fact that there are people out there who still pressure young women into having children. i know i'm getting upset about an old liberal-feminist issue, but SHEESH, c'mon, my ovaries are not my only asset. i think i'm good for more than making babies.

guilt

isn't it interesting how we are socialized to be loyal to our employers? today i dropped off 3 applications to a great organization. these jobs are all a step up for me. one if them pays $30 less per week, but i would also be working 10 fewer hours per week. these positions are also in my field. as soon as i began updating my resume, i started to feel guilty about applying. though i want more money and health insurance, i also like the company i currently work for. there isn't anything that is particularly great about it, but i like it.
on monday, i went into my boss's office to tell her that i saw the job posting at this other agency. i told her about the pay and the benefits. instead of making me feel guilty or ashamed, she encouraged me to apply, but also ensured that i would still be in line for my promotion in a couple of months if i am still with the company.
i have a guilty conscience. i feel horrible at the prospect of leaving this company without knowing that i have an adequate replacement. there is also the familial aspect of this company. i am compelled to do a good job because the quality of someone's life is my responsibility. i treat them better than i treat myself. which is the point, i suppose.
i hope i get this other job.
i also feel guilty for wanting to leave the people i take care of.

sarah palin pisses me off

while i think it is horrible for people to criticize her for being a mother and running for VP, i also think she is a horrible person. she is W Bush in glasses and a skirt suit, which is pretty smart of the republicans to do. i heard that initially McCain wanted Lieberman to be his running mate, but since McCain isn't a republican favorite, he was urged to nominate a person who is a nature hating, gun toting, contrived christian yahoo. why? because the American public was dumb enough to elect that kind of person 2 terms in a row.
here is what i want:
a group of leaders who will make it possible for me to live without fear of getting very sick
a group of leaders who will make it possible for people to live on a single income instead of feeling pressured to get married
a group of leaders who don't think that welfare is reformed by encouraging women to get married and depend on men for stability
a group of leaders who believe that abstinence only sex ed is more harm than good....
the list goes on. i'm just a little drunk and pissed off.