isn't it interesting how we are socialized to be loyal to our employers? today i dropped off 3 applications to a great organization. these jobs are all a step up for me. one if them pays $30 less per week, but i would also be working 10 fewer hours per week. these positions are also in my field. as soon as i began updating my resume, i started to feel guilty about applying. though i want more money and health insurance, i also like the company i currently work for. there isn't anything that is particularly great about it, but i like it.
on monday, i went into my boss's office to tell her that i saw the job posting at this other agency. i told her about the pay and the benefits. instead of making me feel guilty or ashamed, she encouraged me to apply, but also ensured that i would still be in line for my promotion in a couple of months if i am still with the company.
i have a guilty conscience. i feel horrible at the prospect of leaving this company without knowing that i have an adequate replacement. there is also the familial aspect of this company. i am compelled to do a good job because the quality of someone's life is my responsibility. i treat them better than i treat myself. which is the point, i suppose.
i hope i get this other job.
i also feel guilty for wanting to leave the people i take care of.
2 comments:
Maybe I'm missing something, but it seems like your current employer treats you well.
You also work in a social service field, right? That suggests that part of job - and part of your reason for working in the field - is the desire to help people, to take responsibility for the well-being of others.
Given those things, I'm confused as to why loyalty to the employer in this case is a problem.
Loyalty to a bad employer, yeah, that's some disturbing socializing. But why is loyalty to a good employer a bad thing?
i wasn't saying that it was a bad thing to be loyal, i was making a point that it was interesting.
the only way it becomes problematic is if staying with that job is to my own detriment. i have been stewing about this for some time. the company i applied to is just as necessary and would also be in the human services field. my guilt stems from my desire to leave the people i care for and to leave a caring employer.
i think it is interesting how people, no matter if their needs are being met by an employer, will remain loyal.
the point of it all is, i shouldn't have to feel guilty for wanting this other position, but because of the way i have been socialized as a worker, i feel guilty.
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